


It's okay not to be okay

by moonchild2593



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Awesome Pepper Potts, I have a lot of feelings, Monologue, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 22:43:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19733158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonchild2593/pseuds/moonchild2593
Summary: "You used to look at him like he personally hung the moon and all the stars in the galaxy." Pepper mumbled, reaching out to brush away another tear that had found it's way out of his eyes. "Maybe that's why he brought back half the universe for you."





	It's okay not to be okay

Peter looked at Pepper and accepted the glass of water she gave him with a smile. Or something that was as close to a smile as he could muster these days. 

"Thanks for stopping by, honey", she said. "we didn't really get to speak at the service", Pepper continued quietly, almost somberly. "But I've been talking to Happy and he told me you're not doing so great so I thought we could talk a little." 

"I'm fine" Peter whispered. 

"Mhh" Pepper looked at him "I'm not. Not by a long shot. And I don't think you are either."

Somehow that was all it took for Peters resolve to crumble "Yeah. I'm not." His face scrunched up and if it was because it was Pepper he was talking to (because if there was someone who would understand it just had to be her) or because he had been fighting it for so long, he didn't know. The next thing he knew was that he was holding on to Pepper for dear life, trying to control his breathing.

"It's okay to not be okay, you know", she said while she held him. "It's okay to be sad."

He had never been close to Pepper, not really. They had seen each other once or twice a month and he liked her a lot, but it was always Tony he really spent time with. Who he admired, looked up to, wanted to impress. But right now, thanks to her presence, he felt closer to Mr Stark than he had in forever and he was taking in all in and trying to hold on to that for as long as possible. But when Pepper began to speak again, he pulled away to look at her instead, desperately hoping she would say something to make this easier. To make it hurt less. 

"He was happy, in a way.. He was. He loved Morgan and me and we built a life that was supposed to be peaceful. We had a lot of good days, I need.. I just need you to know that, too. That we were happy. But, the nights were hard. When everything else was silent his mind just couldn't shut down. He blamed himself for things he could have changed and for things he could not have influenced. He was restless. 

Our life Here was supposed to be peaceful.

But it wasn't, to him. How could it be when he blamed himself for half the universe disappearing? But it's not just that. It's that half of his universe disappeared with it. 

I'm not saying this to make you feel bad or put the blame on you. I'm telling you because I don't think that Tony ever really told you how he felt about you. He wasn't good with that stuff. Not back then. He changed a lot when we had Morgan, so I know he'd want to make sure how much he adored you. He used to say that finding you on the Internet influenced him in so many ways he could never have expected, not in a million years. 

You were on his side when his team wasn't, you believed in him when the world didn't and he didn't give you many reasons to.

You don't know it, Peter, but you meant the world to him.

You used to look at him like he personally hung the moon and all the stars in the galaxy." Pepper mumbled, reaching out to brush away another tear that had found it's way out of his eyes. "Maybe that's why he brought back half the universe for you."


End file.
